logloglog

Here’s a changelog of my consciousness. Starting in December of 2021, I decided to capture my fleeting thoughts in prose and publish them to my site. More about this experiment here.


January 17th, 2023


7:54 am —

Simplicity often has a secret complexity. Great works can be appreciated both at the surface and in the depths. Think of a Beatles song. After one listen, you might like the song, but after the 5th listen, you realize, ‘whoa, I never heard that layer before.’ (Also true for art, architecture, writing, etc.). There’s so much richness that it can’t all be absorbed in one sitting. It’s important that complexity isn’t distracting for a first-timer— it’s elegantly organized, waiting to be noticed.

Originality often has an intentional imitation. There’s a gap between the artist’s influences and the audience. If you’re an average Beatles listener, you might not know the bass line from ‘I Saw Her Standing There’ is a Chuck Berry riff. If you ask Paul, he’d say, ‘of course it is.’ It’s just a bass line. It’s one element of something entirely new. What the audience sees as originality is often a synthesis & mutation of multiple sources.


January 16, 2023


11:11 pm — The Smile, Live on KEXP (ex-Radiohead)

Someone in the comments said ‘the pinnacle of music ability and creativity.’ Amen. This performance made them click for me (though, that’s after a decade of listening to Radiohead). I become an uber-fan in 2008, right after In Rainbows (2007), which could be my favorite album. None of their releases since have gotten me as excited as In Rainbows, but I’m getting increasingly excited about The Smile. They seem out of a rut. By bringing Thom and Johnny together, and shedding the pressure of the ‘Radiohead’ entity, it seems like they’re growing/evolving in the direction that I was hoping they would 10 years ago.


January 15, 2023


9:47 am — An obituary for Ed (expand on this)

  • the anarchist bookstore

  • barbarians at the gates of the public library

  • visions of st. teresa of avila

  • psychedelic society of brooklyn

  • philosophy handbook

  • cancer


6:36 am — Three release valves (or, the capture stack):
1) Logs to capture ideas
2) ToDoist to capture tasks
3) Glasses to capture memories


January 14, 2023


1:49 pm — [Ought inspired call and response lyrics, looped over and over, 16 times, over changing chords & ambient distortion]
Q: You feeling under the weather?
A: No, I’ve never been better!


12:38 pm — New Substack discovery this week, you can have two custom navigation bars. Go into settings > publication details > homepage links > edit. You can structure a list of URLs into groups. So my top nav will include Home (essay), Logs (active), Links (check this out), and About, while my secondary nav will include my essay topics, and an archive of monthly logs.


11:51 am — I asked AI to summarize my logs from December, and here’s what it came up with:

“This document is a compilation of notes and thoughts related to writing, exploring the idea that writing can lead to transformation. It discusses the idea of "the matrix" when it comes to online writing, focusing on the one idea that really matters, and the four states of consciousness. It also talks about using rhyme and free-association to guide thought, the use of "read it later" apps, and the idea of using words as a design element. Finally, the document highlights the importance of writing with a 500-year time horizon, and the notion of computing as a peak human achievement.”


11:18 am — Maybe taste is directional, and quality is metric. Taste is like a constellation of millions of good/bad (binary) judgements of value. A creator subconsciously consumes and creates from the lens of their taste. Taste can be wide or narrow. There isn’t a right or wrong here. While taste is loose, quality is definable. It’s biological. Good art strikes an eruption in the nervous system. Quality can even be categorically dissected, evaluated, and scored out of 100. These two systems work together. Two works of art of completely different tastes can share a degree of quality.


9:59 am — AI-generated art shifts visual composition from right brain to left brain. It strips away technique and passion, shifting the game to one of language puzzles. 


9:52 am — “Life is art”... where does this phrase come from? There’s some thread between Pessoa, Kerouac, Justin Hall, reality TV, the Kardashians, Twitter, and TikTok.


8:59 am — Just had a daydream about a short story that’s written in a way to sound believable. The plot: through a sequence of small but believable events, I’m invited to shadow Robert Caro as he finishes his last novel. Big honor. The deal is that I’m invisible, a fly on the wall, unacknowledged. I can only piece together his process through what’s visible. As I observe him, the details get weirder and less unbelievable, eventually to a point where it gets Lynchian / exotic / nightmarish. By the end, you know it’s not a true story, but a piece of creative fiction. 

[Maybe Caro turns into a reptile? Reptile isn’t correct.. that would be a tasteless shock. The magical realism has to be rooted in a true characteristic in Caro, and I don’t know him well enough. Reptile implies bad guy, and I think Caro’s a good guy, so I don’t have the key ‘event’ to make this worth pursuing.. Another path: don’t make it about Caro, but shadowing a famous, fictional writer, one who seems good on the surface, but is actually evil.]

[[Story concepts evolve and mutate from seeds, until a point where they make no sense, or, until they’re too appealing to ignore.]]


8:52 am — Three identical dogs [song title]


7:29 am —


7:25 am — Text-generation apps like Chat GPT aren’t designed for mimicking voice, but it’s definitely possible. I’ve already seen apps (in 2021), that can perfectly mimic the voice of HTS, Jane Austen, or Seinfeld. It’s just a matter of UI and training data. You can imagine a tool that lets you translate your posts into the style of your favorite authors (like a Tim Urban effect pedal). Voice replication could be a thing, and it might mask a lack of craft and taste. What is the volume of essays needed for a voice to be trained?


10 songs I’ve liked from the last week:


January 13th, 2023


9:28 pm — Works In Progress (check this out)


6:06 pm — As you dive into the weeds of a craft, it doesn’t lead to more clear answers. It leads to a clarity in how you articulate the unsolvable mysteries. There are dilemmas and complexities that are unsolvable, but through grasping, you know how to wield them in the right context.


5:20 pm — If you’re always been in the tailwind of motivation, you’ll be shocked at how easily it can deflate.


Proper winter music (5:18 pm)


5:17 pm — A phrase for the misery of knowing your potential.


3:34 pm — AI-generated art from Lexica.art


1:19 pm — I had an idea for a writing analysis of Rebecca Black’s song Friday. There are 4 definable ways that the lyric writing is structurally bad. When they all happen at once, it’s like a perfect storm that is universally cringe (and viral). They boil down to, 1) adjacent repetition, 2) awkward rhyme schemes, 3) low perplexity, 4) implicit context. (I’d have to explain these for them to make sense). But I’m hesitant to write a ‘what not to do’ analysis. Kind of feels like a ‘dunk.’ There’s another person on the other side of this meme. She’s on YouTube, still making music (which is obviously way more mature and better), but she’s still in the shadow of a song she made when she was 13.


9:14 am — All productivity systems should be ‘leakproof.’ If you pour data into pipeline 10,000 times, does the process still function, or is it flooded?


6:57 am — A phrase for training the fear out of yourself in lucid dreams.


6:55 am — Had a dream where I made a life decision through a dice roll. I articulate 6 different options, and then rolled a 2. When the number appeared, there was a momentary worry. What was 2 again? I re-articulated what options 1-3 were again to myself, but this time, knowing that a decision was made, that ‘2’ was my destiny. It let me reconsider all the options in a new light, and turns out, 2 is what I actually want below the layers of rationality.


6:50 am — Surfing the pings = playing defense.


January 12th, 2023


10:26 pm — These logs all start as half-coherent breadcrumbs in iOS. I revisit them the next morning, and re-write the ideas straight into a Substack page.


3:46 pm — By the time I got into NYC, my glasses were already at 10-20%, bummer. They died almost instantly. I messed up the charging cycle. Typically they’re good for 8ish hours, but I goofed. It’s funny how I see this event as an ‘unfortunate gap in my recorded memory,’ but this has been the reality for every memory in my life up until 2023.


3:42 pm — In any given moment, there are 7-12 arbitrary and innocuous things happening at once. They’re all around you, and usually worth ignoring. But if you can take them all in, all at once, it can feel like a symphony. The day-to-day stream of worry and execution fade away, and what emerges is cold breathe, brisk skin, a pack of school kids, assorted lone strangers each with a fictional backstory, birds and city rumble, and pencil towers behind deathly-looking (leafless/naked) trees. This kind of contemplation feels functionally useless, but it’s not; it’s a squeegee for the ego.


3:41 pm — A phrase for when an overdue moment of being alone acts as a welcoming reset.


3:37 pm — Reminders: I’m not owed anything. There’s no further state to attain. At any moment I can dip into the beautiful mystery that hides in the mundane. Keep perception clean and squeegee the ego frequently.  None of this is an excuse to turn down the intensity. Wrestle unreasonable perfectionism, take breaks to gaze at cardinals, and see the humor in it all.


3:33 pm — When I die, you can turn my name into a bench. [Lyrics]


3:18 pm — Creative fluidity is like a muscle that builds over many long years. It’s a  mix of diligence, patience, and conviction— to persist through shitty ideas. Associative thinking develops through reps. What if the only thing preventing creativity is the openness to constantly generate stupid ideas? ‘Creative genius’ might be nothing other than the volume of stupid ideas tolerated. Said earnestly, it’s the playful genesis of solutions with the willingness to be rock. It’s an inner lack of filter, paired with a seriousness to improve.


3:17 pm — Subway angel, down here with the rats. [Lyrics]


3:16 pm — Through these glasses, I can create ‘visual’ logs that show the construction of prose. Kind of cool. It’s like one of those cheesy Instagram effects, except actually done manually. It enforces the spirit of ‘no-editing’ and ‘writing as live spontaneous performance. Dancing letters, fingers, and thumbs— hopefully it’s legible.


3:14 pm — We’re all at risk of selection bias. We want to feel good about the choices we’ve made. Regret is a bad look, for the self, and for others. There’s always a way to justify our past; some sliver to bring into high-resolution and confirm, ‘that was worth it.’ But it’s never the full meal. To chase the white whale without compromise is unlikely and irrational. A tremendous risk. It’s a sacrifice of everything that isn’t the white whale.


3:11 pm — Feeling the urge to monologue through my glasses on the subway platform but my inner mouse stops me.


3:02 pm

A return to a Manhattan, 
The Mecca, 
The old beast, 
The chain reaction continues,
The center of the petri flash,

2:53 pm — Twice a year, the spirit of adventure knocks and seeks to destroy everything. It has cunning English, and is deaf to compromise and reason. It is an inspirational fool, an impressive devil with blind judgement, and likely a bad influence. Still, it’s worth hearing him out.


2:51 pm — There are two ends of the ‘legibility’ spectrum. There’s plain English that means what it says. Then there’s the cryptic meaning of the poets, where phrases have multiple meaning. What’s the middle ground here? How can you be both direct and novel? How can you transmit visions without valleys of interpretation?


2:48 pm — A phrase for seeing big box stores as a senile America.


January 11th, 2023


10:59 pm — I asked Chat GPT to write me a story about a man who buys a cheap beat-up house in Kentucky to obsess over his writing. I read through 3 options. The prose was boilerplate and flat, but it was interesting to see the range in plot arcs. Of course, I could detail any of the 3 paths better, but a human mind is likely to converge around the first plot they get excited about. GPT can generate dozens of plots without clinging. I see value in using AI for rapid prototyping, to quickly explore all directions (supplementing your own studies), before you dive in on the analog process.


10:24 pm — At least twice a year I’ll go onto Zillow and browse cheap beaten up homes in the middle of American nowhere. I could buy this shelter in cash, and just retreat there and write.


1:11 pm — A phrase for when panic kicks in at the first signs of success.


11:41 am — I’ve caught myself saying, ‘Damn, I forgot to capture that,’ in recent days. My 1st person capture glasses habit lost it’s strength as real-life kicked in my first week back to work. There’s a big point in here. By wearing a ‘capture device’ on my face, it only takes a split second to capture video/audio. A quarter of a second tops. It’s instant. It arguably can’t be any simpler. It proves the necessity of ‘mindfulness’ here. Sure, you can optimize your system and pick your tools. But in the end, you need to realize that you’re having thoughts and experiences worth capturing. Usually, we’re so caught in the fluidity of life. There’s a kind of parallel processing required to both live and capture simultaneously. Some portion of bandwidth is folded back to observe itself observing.


9:36 am — Byrne Hobart: “An unfortunate truth about the content business is that the more it scales, the more it gets commoditized. And once it’s commoditized, it can get squeezed between a cost structure the content company doesn’t control and a distribution system that’s operated by another business with its own interests. If scaling entails lower quality, any sufficiently high-growth media business is indistinguishable from spam.”


January 10th, 2023


5:32 pm — Can AI triangulate my emerging logs, my body of polished essays, and my theories on what “great writing” is? I wonder if there’s a world where each log can auto-convert into a full essay. This is only possible, or, ‘authentic’ if, 1) I have a bank of personal experience it can draw from, and 2) my voice is organically re-generated through other works I’ve written. In this case, the insights (the logs) are the driver (the analog input), and all my past work is leveraged to reach increasing scale and quality. Of course, this strips away the process, pain, and struggle of writing long-form, which I do love. Instead, it is presenting you with finished outputs, as if they’re emerging from your subconscious. It actually seems holy / religious / eerie, to have your own inner landscapes materialize in front of your eyes without effort. Almost if there’s some portal between the impossible depths of your subconscious and your word processor. I’d like to imagine there’s a world where I can have this, and still dive into the analog process.


5:10 pm — Tibetan meditation techniques might be so visual (ie: colored shapes in the minds eye) because they were up in the mountains with minimal stimulation in their surroundings. @Christin


1:10 pm — Deleted sentence: The word “Metaverse” has been poisoned by VC hucksters, moonboi futurists, and hungry-hungry-data-hippos who would love to give you creepy and unsolicited advertisements based on your wandering eyes.


8:07 am — “I don’t know anyone who achieved anything great without at least a mild form of psychosis.” (I don’t remember if I said this or if I heard it somewhere, so using quotes without attribution feels right here.)


8:06 am — A story about a person who goes extreme lengths to avoid conflict.


January 9th, 2023


11:48 pm — An algorithm that tries to hijack the reptile brain might get short-term gains, but users will leave once they realize the game.


11:37 pm — It makes sense how our rational culture is interested in the logos of Christ. Historicity matters. Biology and archaeological records are discarded, because the literal truth of the resurrection is the linchpin of a Christian worldview. The mythos of Christ is what needs resurrecting. The values and utility of the “Christ myth” are far more important than history of it.


11:18 pm — The common view is that Hitler was inherently evil, but another angle is the Hitler summoned the spirits of his crowd to become evil. From the little I know, his early speeches had little notes— he spoke, vigilantly observed the crowd, and adjusted his angle. The process was similar to an improv comedian, but instead of optimizing for laughter, he optimized for outrage. It was his path to power.  Hitler tapped into the unconscious and spiteful vengeance of his base, and his character was co-created.


11:07 pm

Whale-hunting — psychic movement —

[this is an example of a breadcrumb from 5 days ago. I have no idea what idea I was pointing to here and now it’s gone.]


11:01 pm — The ideas you capture are useful for ‘spark’ or ‘search.’ Spark is when you browse your old notes to find a new idea that’s exciting to start. Search is when you pull from your notes to augment an existing idea.


10:56 pm —

Simplicity often has a secret complexity.

Originality often has an intentional imitation.


10:29 pm — After wearing my Rayban story glasses around people IRL, I’ve noticed a common arc.

1) Surprise: ‘Oh you have glasses now?’

2) Weirdness: ‘There are camera in there?!’ I give them a demo. I show them that the glasses are only recording when the LED light is on.

3) Glimpse: I show them the montages that get auto-created. They’re naturally pretty cool, and the fact that background music masks the audio, it’s less intimidating.

4) Share: I’ll generally share clips with someone if they’re in a montage. In several cases, they want the file, and they’ve even shared that file with friends.


8:38 am — Since the start of the new year, I’ve naturally heard talk of ‘taking things slow.’ Culture is accelerating at an intense pace, and there’s a natural counter-reaction to disengage from it, to detox, to take the path of a monk, to not set higher standards for yourself, and to be accepting of every situation. I have a slightly different take: I’d like to build resilience to the chaos. I embrace the throttle. I think acceptance, fortitude, character, and courage are build in proportion to the size of the dragon you’re up against. Be Saint George.


January 7th, 2023


11:20 am — Rank the utensils in order of how effective they are to stir something: a spoon, a fork, a knife, a stirrer.


11:19 am — I’d like to better understand the history of dog, cat, and horse breeding.


9:27 am — Here’s an example of “idea soup.” It’s a series of associations that came together faster than I could organize in prose. It’s like I’m connecting ideas through a series of breadcrumbs. In the moment, it makes sense. After the fact, it’s cryptic. I could unpack this, but it’s tricky, so I’m just going to freeze this here.

Frontiers — DMT/LSD:VR/AR — financial & conspiracy — voyager in consciousness & technology — forward — inward — history of consciousness revolutions — not outward like in space (outer edges of the universe) — sure Webb Telescope — but radically, and weirdly inward — AI, machines become sentient — this is the century of ‘the apocalypse’ — the end of linear history — the great scrambling — higher chance than ever of self-destructing — don’t say that with fear — with calmness, for only if you accept chaos can you even begin to navigate it — if you cling to the survival of the species, you’ll be a paranoid activist with no actual levers to pull — instead, accept — we’re on an uncontrollable spiral, and regardless of the death of the species, our own death — something to grapple with — purpose, answers, experience — not in the shallow ‘see the world’ tourist, spectacle, signal type of way — but to seriously dig in and make sense of the weirdness of our situation — to drop your ego, to drop your human-centric view of the world — to see yourself as an insect with arms, self-reflecting — universe became self-aware— and it’s reached a point of overwhelming and awe-striking brilliance and density.


9:26 am — A phrase on ‘becoming’ a psychedelic mind (separate from the drug experience).


9:20 am — I just realized Terence McKenna’s stories of the DMT elves bear a resemblance to social media. In his trips, he’s blitzkrieg by dozens of entities who are all competing for his attention. “Look at this,” “Look at THIS,” “LOOK AT THIS!” They’re each spawning self-transforming objects for him to fixate his attention upon. This is like the highest-possible form of a social media feed. Even in hyperspace, sentient disembodied intelligences will compete for your attention. Yikes.


9:15 am, written during a shower

When you truly believe in the forces you wield

There is nowhere to go but forward

Don’t cringe, cry, and clutch to the roads you mapped

Because all paths lead to same destiny

Don’t panic when the bridge falls

Because desperation kills

You are already in the kingdom

You are already in the apocalypse

So fly towards the blue ball


January 6th, 2023


In case you don’t know, you can “involve the ghost reader” in the new Readwise Reader app. You have a few options. (2:37 pm)

  1. Ask the document a question

  2. Summarize the document

  3. Generate thought-provoking questions

  4. Generate Q&A pairs based on your highlights


2:36 pm — The internet increases variance. It will reward merit like never before, and, it will consume the public.


2:24 pm — AI opens up a new domain for the age-old impulse of cheating. It will scramble old forms of credentials, and force new forms of proof. [second test in Substack Chat]


1:22 pm — Thought experiment. Teleportation gets invented. It’s $9/month. Accessible through iOS and won’t accidentally merge your DNA with a fly when you respawn. Where do you go first? How does your life change? [first test in Substack Chat]


Lessons from using the Rayban Stories (7:37 am)

  • Demo of the light (not always on, 30 second clips)

  • Show the end result (clips on phone, montage, cool output)

  • Self deprecate — and make jokes about what you’re capturing (self-narrate)

  • Don’t record in vulnerable situations — light, fun, day to day

  • Don’t try to recreate moments you miss (makes everyone feel like actors)

  • Share montages with the people in them


January 4th, 2023


6:40 pm — “Substack curious”


7:31 am — When you travel and work remotely, you appreciate all the micro-optimizations of your home setup.


7:29 am — Extreme experiences give you perspective into things you do and don’t like. By going all-in on something stupid and then crashing (ie: going to Miami for college and starting a fraternity), it gives you the ability to re-calibrate. Otherwise, you never get it out of your system.


6:36 am — The past as a dream you can’t remember.


January 3rd, 2023


1:20 pm — A coined phrase around if you go with default or custom software installations. There’s some parallel here with religion: do you accept templated answers, customize your answers, or design your answers from scratch?


12:40 pm — The person next to me on my flight yelled at me. I didn’t turn off my laptop, even after the flight attendant asked me to close it twice. I was finishing the Runway prompt! I expected anger from the staff, but why this person? What’s her internal story? Am I defying her value of obedience? Did I endanger her physical safety, or could my use of wifi crash the landing? I forgive both of us.


10:49 am — There are all sorts of nightmares where you fuse AR technology with data analytics and tech corporations. Worth listing them all out in one post? ‘Here’s all the ways we can seriously break down our already fragile orders.’ There’s always this surreal ‘whoa!’ benefit, and then a sneaking evil that is unexpected (the snake in the garden) —- (example: as you pass by strangers in a city, there’s a visual symbol that displays your compatibility with them. Potentially, it’s a way to find your partner, and also, it totally distorts the randomness of first impressions)


10:43 am — In the future, companies will have to make apps for all mediums; browser, mobile, voice, and soon, spatial. We’re going analog.


10:41 am — The access points from technology generally shift from structure to ambient. Computing started with bulky boxes on top of desks, and now you can access that same functionality, anywhere, from your pocket, with a slightly different inputs (thumbs on glass instead of 2 hands).

AR/VR is similar. It started with a huge head mounted display plugged into a gaming PC with a wire. Eventually, you’ll have a single pair of glasses that can be AR/VR. It will spawn holographic monitors when and where you need them, and you’ll be able to interface through typing, swiping, waving, or speaking.


10:12 am — The ultimate form of remote telepresence is AR/VR connection. It’s the final form of the telephone. The only thing beyond it is literal teleportation. Two people are suspended in a shared simulation. The person in AR is hallucinating a ghost. The person in VR is suspended in a dream.


9:46 am — I’ve been using Spotify liked songs as my main source of music. It’s a massive pool (5,000+ songs?) that I’ve accidentally accumulated by liking songs and albums in the past. Now I listen through it (usually on shuffle), and weed out music I don’t like. Over-time, this will collection get better and better. If I come across something I really like, I’ll ‘re-like’ it so it pushes to the top of the list (it’s sorted by recency). I can then plug these into logs and playlists.


9:35 am — I usually try to write song lyrics by feeling it out, and the approach almost never works. Lyrics are dense. There’s so much meaning that needs to be compressed in such little space. This is probably known by more veteran song titles, but I think you need to start with the title, and work backwards. ie:

‘There’s Always a Snake in the Garden’

This could be both a title and the refrain in the chorus. You could imagine a song with multiple verses, each pointing to that same line. Now, instead of diving in and shaping lyrics around this title, there’s another layer of abstraction.

What are all the situations in where ‘something evil pops out of something that seems good on the surface?’

Brainstorm time. Could be in relationships, corporations, friend groups, nature, etc. It’s almost an act of map-building. What are 3 good, differentiated examples, that all point to the chorus? Once that is solved, you’re ready to dive into lyrics, craft, and image-making. Now you have proper constraints. All the puzzle pieces will slot in and make sense.

I’ve found it really hard to write lyrics bottom-up, and blindly reach my way towards a coherent structure. But I’m sure once you get the top-down process a few times, it becomes more intuitive to start bottom-up.


6:43 am — I should make a running list of Substack feature ideas and complaints (maybe this grows into a post).

  • Why are the ‘related posts’ underneath each essay not showing posts that are within the ‘section.’ I want topical relevance. ‘If you liked this essay, you might like these.’

  • Custom styling happens on desktop, but not in the reader/feed/app.

  • Seems like I’m getting double subscribers (same person, two email addresses) — Is there a way to consolidate?


6:32 am — Consciousness revolutions are only as powerful as they can cut up into power structures and influential people.


January 2nd, 2023


Music from the day:


11:49 pm — The ‘great indoorsman’ is someone who pursues adventures at their desk, in a chair, through a screen.


11:37 pm — Essays I currently have the momentum to write:

  • Living in the future (self-heating mugs)

  • Visual logging (Rayban stories)

  • AI Prompting (essay cover art)

  • Teleportation (AR/VR)

  • Road testing (feedback)

  • Grades, Harvard’s average GPA (3.8), and essay scoring


5:10 pm — New Chat GPT use case for me — explain legal terms to a 5th grader (this puts everything in the context of a lemonade stand).


2:50 pm — General lessons from last year — on teamwork, on identity, on keeping things simple, and on the power of embracing the apocalypse.


2:39 pm — When you assume the death and destruction of anything, or that the apocalypse is already here (just at a molasses-rate), it can shift you to a vantage point of liberation. You move out of emotional fear and desperation, and towards a point of view that is calm, swift, empathetic, and risk-seeking. You stop clinging for some other reality other than what you have, and instead, embrace play.


9:26 am — Why do Substack comments feel more alive than Twitter comments. It might be the lack of a character constraint, and also, the fact that it’s directly below the work (instead of below the link to the work).


He would see faces in movies, on T.V., in magazines, and in books
He thought that some of these faces might be right for him
And that through the years, by keeping an ideal facial structure fixed in his mind
Or somewhere in the back of his mind
That he might, by force of will, cause his face to approach those of his ideal
The change would be very subtle
It might take ten years or so
Gradually his face would change its shape
A more hooked nose
Wider, thinner lips
Beady eyes
A larger forehead

He imagined that this was an ability he shared with most other people
They had also molded their faces according to some ideal
Maybe they imagined their new face
Would better suit their personality
Or maybe they imagined that their personality
Would be forced to change to fit the new appearance
This is why first impressions are often correct
Although some people might have made mistakes
They may have arrived at an appearance
That bears no relationship to them
They may have picked an ideal appearance
Based on some childish whim, or momentary impulse
Some may have gotten halfway there
And then changed their minds

He wonders if he too might have made a similar mistake


January 1st, 2023


7:41 pm — Usually technology slowly layers to a point where you can’t even realize what’s changed. Today, I felt a strong sense that I’m living in the future of my childhood. My coffee mug heats itself, I talk to AI (out loud and through text), and now I’m wearing glasses that capture my 1st person point of view.


6:47 pm — A New York bucket list from a person who never makes bucket lists:

  • Bike the full perimeter of Manhattan

  • Queens / Brooklyn / Bronx Botanical Gardens

  • The Greek Parade / Neptune Diner

  • Steven Holl library in LIC

  • Argosy Bookstore / Central Park / Serendipity

  • BAM Rose Cinema / Black Forest Brooklyn

  • The Museum of Morbid Anatomy lecture

  • Hudson trip / Catskills / shooting

  • Robert Caro documentary

  • The MET (Frank Lloyd Wright Room) / Levain Cookies

  • Vertical tour of St. John the Divine Cathedral

  • Lincoln Center show / Columbus Circle

  • Rocking climbing in LIC

  • Opening day at Citi Field

  • Comedy Cellar / Washington Square Park bars

  • Fire Island weekend / day trip

  • Sleep No More / Chelsea galleries

  • Catskill Mountain Jubillee

  • Jayne’s Hill / West Hills country park

  • Sagamore Hill / The Roosevelt Museum

  • Vanderbilt Museum and Planetarium

  • Woodstock / Kingston

  • Caumsett State Park

  • The Whaling Museum at Sag Harbor

  • Governor’s Island / live music

  • Cooking class (somewhere)


6:31 pm — The Rayban stories glasses are a form of visual logging. They capture not just the video, but your audio narration of what’s happening.


Music from the day:


10:04 pm — Here’s the prompt I used to generate my Substack cover.

A crest showing greek leaves, columns, letters, and wires, in the style of Dan Mumford. Linocut, high contrast. Mysterious and intricate. Cyan, blue, green. Abstract.

It’s likely temporary, but it has a few things going for it:

  • The middle looks like two halves of a brain (representing structured and creative thinking).

  • The Roman numeral I can represent a few things: a respect for the past, the first thing, the ideal thing, the best thing.

  • The 4 pointed circle resembles the cross. This has both Christian parallels, as well as parallel to a visualization I do (up = mindfulness, down = perspective, left = creativity, right = discipline). Jung has a similar 4 pointed diamond.

  • The Greek leaves / flowers give a sense of classicism, mystery, nature, and organic thinking.

  • What does the color green represent? (rebirth, life, nature)


9:45 am — Attempts to generate a cover icon for my Substack: