sungazer
sungazer
specifics on where & how to look at the sun without going blind
I drove up to Vermont on Sunday to catch totality, and wanted to write out my memory of it while it was fresh. A recent post by
triggered this experiment in form. It’s the length of one of my longer essays (6 pages at ~3k words), but written in one take on a typewriter.I used post-its to map out some of my notes and ideas, but every inked sentence is basically irreversible. This was written between 4/9 and 4/11 over three sessions.
Hope you enjoy the suspense, the climax, and the experimentation.
Typically my typewriter essays are for paid subscribers, but I decided to make this one open since I’m excited about it. In the last 4 months I published 27 of these (but they’re typically 1-page and <500 words). Recent topics include punctuation, the afterlife, thesaurus reform, hermetics, leisure, a bestiary, and a plea to abolish lock screen clocks.
For $8/m you get all past/future analog essays.
This is draft 1 … I don’t know yet if I’ll work on it further, but in case I do, I’d love to hear your reactions, questions, and feedback. There are some classic eclipse essays that I purposely haven’t read yet, but I plan to read them after publishing.
An eclipse chaser’s story, typed at a typewriter and scanned, with a new-to-me John Quincy Adams story woven in. The typewriter leaves toolmarks that show where language is failing the author’s intent, in a way that the phrase “words can’t describe” can’t describe.
I took detailed notes for feedback, which feels bulky and weird for a Substack comment but there's no character limit so whatever!
In general, I was legit moved by this piece. I caught a glimpse of it from LA and this piece was like catching the rest. The fact that you transmitted this information via words versus images is a testament to your skill as a writer. There's so much poetry, and the typewriter format lends such a timeless element to it. The hatchmarks on that one page create a sense of disorientation, it almost feels like an immersive experience. The relationship with your dad is maybe the one aspect I craved a teeny bit more "personal" (POP) around, even just a sentence or two alluding to something without getting too detailed? Just a thought.
I hope you do work on it further, just in terms of ensuring more people get the chance to see it.
P.S. I looked at the eclipse through my phone for like 2 seconds and felt a headache for 2 hours afterwards just from that. Reading this piece, my body physically reacted in some bizarre way as if I was again staring into the sun. How crazy is that? Ah the joys of being a highly sensitive person!
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“If you want to catch an eclipse in its fullest form, you need a paradoxic blend of extreme control and extreme flexibility.” - what a beautiful metaphor for catching life in its fullest form.
“A specific set and setting where you can tune your mind to receive a revelation” - nice alliteration
"an honor system egg market" - yes please
The description of the townspeople (“Off-the-grid, full-souled, mature-spirited types”) sparked recognition, living in an artist community with spotty cell reception.
The description of the scene transforming from the boom box through the red balloon, the Oregon guy’s laser contraption...cinematic.
"You know you’re close when you start to question if the world is 5% dimmer." — opening line for a film. This sentence is gold.
This is a nitpick, but you use the term “crescendo” twice not too far apart from each other; maybe an opportunity to swap one? (1st time in the paragraph - “The song selection…”, 2nd time in paragraph starting with “You know you’re close when…”)
"Life turns into an Instagram filter…warmth fades, coolness becomes vibrant” — holy hell that’s a beautiful visual, I was vividly picturing it in my mind's eye.
SO. MUCH. POETRY
“Between profound coolness and eerie horror, you’ve seen a ghost” - chilling
cosmic icy mirror…scars into your memories
Love the wistful, dreamy ending.